i tried everything this article states and cannot connect remote
What do i do if my remote is charged and still wont connect to apple tv
Apple TV HD, tvOS 13
Question marked as
The black Siri Remote (1st generation) will work with Apple TV (4th generation or later), regardless of software version, so: tvOS 9 or later.
The silver colored Siri Remote (2nd generation) will work with Apple TV (4th generation or later), if than runs tvOS 14.5 or later.
Apple TV HD, tvOS 13
That is not tvOS 14.5 or later.
but I bought it separately
Replacement remotes will have to be paired manually, as described. If your Apple TV remote isn't working - Apple Support. That is the offered pairing method. If the remote was bought from Apple and is within warranty, then contact Apple directly if you need further assistance.
Plugged it in to make sure it was charged but still nothing.
The Siri remote doesn’t show if it is charging, unless you look it up in Settings for a successfully connected remote. Charge directly to a computer, or to a USB power adapter (“charger”), like the ones for iPhone or iPad. Charge your Siri Remote - Apple Support. Charge for 30 minutes for “enough” initial use. Charge for 3 hours for empty to full. The remote can be used while charging.