iphone xr is not starting

Connect iPhone to Computer / Mac

Settings > Touch/Face ID & Passcode > USB Accessories > [Enable]

You haven't mentioned whether you have a PC or Mac. However...

1. Use your USB lightening cable --> Resolve USB-related alerts in iTunes - Apple Support
2. If unable to connect --> If iTunes doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod - Apple Support
3. If your computer is a...
   1. Mac --> If your computer doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod ...
   2. Windows PC —> Troubleshooting issues with iTunes for Windows - Apple Community
4. Use genuine cable --> Identify counterfeit or uncertified Lightning connector accessories ...
5. See how to --> Sync your iPhone, iPad, or iPod using iTunes on your computer ...

If you are experiencing an issue not listed here, contact support

There are two restores.

1. Restore to factory settings:- Restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod to factory settings - Apple ...
2. Restore from a backup:- Restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch from a backup ...