I see this in discussions in the past, but it seems to still be a problem. Both my wife and I have updated iPhone 12s. When I start a new home and invite her, my user suddenly becomes only a “resident” , no longer owner/resident. She gets the invite but it hangs on her acceptance and never completes the joining of her. Obviously, I’ve restarted the phones and all of that. Any fix for this?
iPhone 12 Pro
Sounds like you are sharing your iCloud on your wife's iPhone for media such as iTunes / Music / etc. While her main iCloud account is her own account. Sharing accounts like this is something people did a long time ago and then Apple added Family Sharing and it's no longer necessary.
I would recommend signing out of Music Home Sharing on the wife's iPhone by going to Settings -> Music and scroll all the way down. You will see Home Sharing and Apple ID:. If that account is your account and not your wife's account, sign out of that account and sign on with your wife's iCloud account.
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Invite Fails when I try to add family to home kit
