I have no idea what Apple ID is hooked to mine I just know it is my exhusband and I want it off this phone. He controls everything and this has to be how

If you do not remember the Apple ID Password then follow the steps given in this Apple Article -> If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

If you do not remember the Apple ID then follow the steps given in this Apple Article -> If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

If you are the owner or the owner has shared all information with you then to open Activation Lock:- If it is Activation locked, read here --> Turn off Activation Lock - Apple Support Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Learn how to remove a device from a previous owner's account.

If you are not the owner and do not have the Apple ID and Password then there is no way that you can get into this iPhone unless the original owner shares the Apple ID and password with you. If you are lucky you can get into this iPhone if they (owner) accidentally remove the device from their Apple ID.

An iPhone can only be linked to one Apple ID. Go to Settings and look at the top. Does it show your Apple ID? If it does no one else has an Apple ID on your account. Tap on your name at the top, and look at the bottom of the page. Do you see any devices you don’t recognize that are accessing your Apple ID? If you do you can tap on them and remove them, then change your Apple ID password→Change your Apple ID password - Apple Support

Please try this --> If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple ...

You can’t do much unless u have its password. If u have its password, u can simply reset the iphone with a new or your existing apple id.