SpyWare

For your iPhone restore it to factory settings, and set it up as a new phone; do not restore a backup→Restore your iOS device to factory settings - Apple Support. You can reinstall apps and email accounts, but not a backup.

If he knows your Apple ID and password change your Apple ID password→Change your Apple ID password - Apple Support and also review this→If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple Support

and this→Device and data access when personal safety is at risk - Apple Support

We can’t do much to help with your HP, but visit a Windows tech support location (such as Best Buy’s Geek Squad) or call them in to clean up your desktop. The only other alternative would be to reinstall Windows on it, and do not restore a backup.

Not sure of the mechanics of the software, but ask him to take it off.

It's far more likely he's logged into your iCloud account from another device. From there, he can see everything you do. Emails, photos, etc., and can do anything acting as you.