Hello dt_999,
Welcome to Apple Support Communities!
If we understand your post correctly, you want to know how to turn off Notify Anyway. We're here to help!
You can disable the Notify Anyway setting for each person or for each Focus mode you have set up.
Go to Settings > Focus, choose the Focus you want to change the setting for.
Tap Focus Status.
If Focus Status is turned off, then anyone you're texting won't be able to see that you have notifications silenced, nor will they be able to notify anyway.
More information can be found in the article below.
Use Focus on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
Let us know if you have any questions.
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
Take care!