iPhone XR setup stuck on software update

I have been trying literally all day to make this happen. No matter if I try to do the Quickstart or the manually set up it always gets stuck on the software update screen. It takes forever to download. It takes forever to prepare. And it takes forever to install. I can’t bypass it. This is getting so frustrating and I don’t know what to do everything I read online tells me to go into settings. But I can’t get into settings because I can’t get past the software update. This is actually for an iPhone 11, but it didn’t give me about choice because I can’t set up the phone

[Re-Titled by Moderator]