I have a new credit card but phone won’t let me change card number in settings. Card number is grayed out. When I tried to delete it says can’t delete because balance owed but no place to put in new card number

Add a new valid card before you can update the existing one.

If you can't make purchases or update apps, including free apps, you need to update your payment method or add a new one. If you already verified that a payment method is available in your country or region and you're still having trouble, learn more.

Based on your country of residence and country you have selected under your Apple ID --> Payment methods that you can use with your Apple ID - Apple ...

Have you a Debit/Credit card that is issued to you that is valid internationally and is from the same Country / Region as your Apple ID.

Know it here --> If your payment method is declined in the App Store or iTunes ...

Check the following

1. The payment method that you are adding is of the same country as that of App Store Country on your iPhone
2. You have a valid payment plan debit/credit card from an authorised bank from the same country
3. Payment methods that you can use with your Apple ID - Apple Support
4. Learn more about family purchases and payments.
5. Please check if your Debit/Credit card is valid internationally