Asto teh payment method:
From: How to share purchases with your family - How to share purchases with your family - Apple Support
"When you turn on purchase sharing, everyone in your family gets access to apps, music, movies, TV shows, and books that family members buy. The family organizer is billed for family members' purchases"
The second phrase is a bit over-simplified because others can still pay for their own items, they just have to use personal account balance to do so. Turning on purchase sharing simply activates the feature whereby if a family member does not have adequate personal balance to pay for something then the organizer's payment method (e.g., credit card) will be charged.
Read the document for the link to "learn how purchases are billed if a family member has Apple ID balance". This tells you how it works.
The payment method for Family Sharing is automatic:
1. If anybody in the family buys or subscribes to something, Apple first attempts to charge the item to that individual's Apple Account (Apple ID) balance, if any.
2. If a family member does not have enough personal Apple Account balance, any excess will be charged to the Family Organizer's primary payment method (usually a card of some kind). The Organizer's personal balance will not be used for purchases made by other family members. If it cannot bill the primary payment method, the Organizer will need to make another payment method the primary method.
- "Some purchases, including gifts, can't be billed to Apple ID balance and will be charged to the family organizer's payment method." "Some subscriptions might not be charged to Apple ID balance."
Ref:
- Family purchases and payments - How to share purchases with your family - Apple Support
- How App Store and iTunes Store purchases are billed - How apps, content, and subscriptions from Apple are billed - Apple Support
- Check your Apple ID balance - Check your Apple Account balance - Apple Support
- Change, add, or remove Apple ID payment methods - Change, add, or remove Apple ID payment methods - Apple Support
As to why you aren't seeing things, I recommend you contact Apple. Your seeing requests should happen pretty quickly unless you have connectivity or other network issues.
Try signing out of your account and back in again.
Try restarting your device.
Contact Apple and ask if they can tell you what this means, particularly if you see it repeatedly over a day or so:
Click here --> Choose your country or region - Official Apple Support Select your country, then a product. If you don't see one that handles your issue then keep experimenting with selections until you reach one that gets you a chat session or a telephone call and get the representative to redirect you.
or:
"See a list of Apple phone numbers around the world."
Click here --> Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support
