Accidentally deleted text messages

So what you're saying, is that when you went to Settings > [your name] > iCloud, the switch for Messages was turned ON?

• • If that switch is/was turned on, as I previously stated.. your deleted message thread is gone and it is not recoverable, the messages are not going to be in any iPhone backup that you may find.

What you do with that switch now will not help to save a previously deleted message. But you can certainly change the position of the switch based on your needs (if you'd like your messages to be contained in an iPhone backup).

I believe the main reason you would want that switch turned ON, is if you have multiple devices with which you want to sync your messages. For example, I have an iPhone, an iPad, a MacBook.. I use messages in iCloud so that I can go to any of these devices and see the all the same messages.

Messages in iCloud can also be handy if your phone were to take a dump, when you replace the phone, you'd simply turn that switch on and all your messages stored in iCloud would load onto the new device.. and it would be quite current. All possible without even having an iPhone backup.

One drawback to this is, as you're learning, if you delete a message, it is not reversible and it deletes the message across all devices. Using Photos in iCloud is the same thing.

By contrast, if you turn that switch OFF, your messages will then be contained in your iPhone backup.. If something happens and you have to restore your iPhone from your most recent backup, you would lose any messages that occurred between the last backup and the current time. (that applies to all data on your phone, not just messages)

If you prefer the use of iCloud for your messages, upcoming changes in iOS 16 will offer a Recently Deleted area for messages.

iOS 16 Preview - New Features - Apple

Obviously this doesn't help you now, but will in the future

Do you store your messages in iCloud?

To check, go to Settings > [your name] > iCloud

Is the switch for Messages turned on?

If the switch is ON, then you cannot recover your deleted message AND your messages are not contained in an iPhone backup (no need to read any further really, the message thread is gone)

here is a supporting article regarding what is contained in an iPhone backup

Backup methods for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

If the switch is OFF, then you might be able to recover your messages IF you have an iPhone backup that contains the messages you are trying to recover. In which case you'd need to restore your iPhone to that backup. In doing so, you'd likely lose some data between now and whenever your backup occurred.

Here is a support article that can help you find backups

Locate backups of your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Here is a support article that tells you how to restore from a backup, if you have one that contains the message.

Restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch from a backup - Apple Support

In almost all cases, the messages are gone.

The messages would need to have been backed up while they were still on the iPhone.......AND......there must not have been any more backups made after the messages were deleted from the phone.

For example, the messages were on the phone on August 1 and the iPhone was backed up on that day. The messages were deleted on August 2 and a backup ran that day. The next backup after the messages were deleted would have picked up that action, so the messages would be deleted from the backup.

No way to retrieve or restore something that does not exist.

Please keep your expectations on the extremely low side. There is almost no chance that the messages can be retrieved unless you know that......

1) The phone was backed up while the messages were on the phone

2) The phone was not backed up at any time after the messages were deleted.

Users seem to have a difficult time understanding that when you back up the phone, data is synced between the phone and backup. If you delete a message on the phone, the next backup will sync that information and the message will be deleted from the backup.

I do not use iCloud to back up, so please note that the information about whether the switch for messages was turned ON or OFF was provided by another user.

Hopefully, Chris0107 can provide more information.

Hopefully, your son still has the messages on his phone. He can send them to you again.