Greetings Shadowman2531,
It sounds as though your iPad is continuously restarting. You're on the right track with wanting to use iTunes on your computer to update iPadOS and rule out software related issues. To confirm, have you tried placing your iPad in to recovery mode to complete the update? If not, those steps are listed in the section titled "Put your iPad in recovery mode and set it up again" of the following article. In step 3, you'll find different steps for placing your iPad in to recovery mode, make sure you follow the steps for your iPad model.
If you can't update or restore your iPad
If you're getting the error 4000 when attempting to update iPadOS while in recover mode, you'll find the following article helpful in reaching a resolution.
If you see an error when you update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod
If you continue having issues after those steps, try the steps outlined in the article below. While the article references different error messages, the steps can still be helpful.
If you see error 9, 4005, 4013, or 4014 when you restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
Let us know how that goes!