Did you make sure Family Sharing was properly set up and people appear on your member list?
Set up Family Sharing - Apple Support
They should have seen whether or not they were going to be billed when setting up a download, and then simply not downloaded the item until the problem was resolved.
Sometimes it helps to have the devices involved take a fresh look at settings:
- Try signing out of accounts and back in again.
- Restarting is a simple step that can resolve many unexpected behaviors.
If a problem persists, particularly over several days, try contacting Apple for assistance:
Click here --> Choose your country or region - Official Apple Support Select your country, then a product. If you don't see one that handles your issue then keep experimenting with selections until you reach one that gets you a chat session or a telephone call and get the representative to redirect you.
or:
"See a list of Apple phone numbers around the world."
Click here --> Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support
As for the refused refund, you can try contacting Apple about this:
If a reporting a problem request is unsuccessful you can also try clicking here --> Choose your country or region - Official Apple Support Select your country, then a product.