Apple Remote Desktop (ARD) How to Config

First, I truly hope this will work for my situation.

Second, I have two laptops, one identified as ARD Administrator (my laptop), and the second one will be the Remote Desktop CLIENT (my wife). Both of these laptops are on different networks, different cities with about 500 miles between them.

The administrator laptop is running MacOS Catalina, while the client is running Monterey.

I have looked at all the different options for remote connection, don't want to pay any subscriptions, and one free option just didn't seem to work as I hoped.

So I stumbled onto ARD, and so far, think it will work, but I have been away from the networking game for soo long, I am at a loss on what needs configuring.

This is where the help is needed.

What sort of settings / information / fields are needed on the client laptop to make an effective connection?

Same goes for the administrator laptop, what do I need to configure? I can get the ARD to work with connection with my desktop in the other room. Need to take it one step farther,

Wife is not comfortable with some aspects of the laptop, so my being able to remote connect, take control of the screen, apply updates, etc, is essential. She will be at this new location for the next year and ARD would make things a whole lot easier for us all around.

Any help appreciated...