New watch SE activation and pairing

I just purchased a new SE watch and it will not pair with my (6s). I have read and tried everything that has been suggested online and yet the phone and watch will not pair. The phone continues to show a message that I think is saying the watch needs updating...but the message flashes so fast that I cant confirm what it says and then it unpairs. The watch is new but I can't get it to perform any functions that are suggested in the online discussions. I can only turn it on and off / reset/ start the pairing process before it goes into a rolling message that says: Bring iphone near apple watch...only to start the paring /unpaing process all over again.....I don't know what else to do...maybe the watch is defective?