I don't see "Software update is required to connect to your iOS device" on my iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch. I see it on my mac.

Then have a few suggestions ;

1 - Get Support Choose a product and we’ll find you the best solution.Start now and open an Apple Support Ticket as they are Apple Employees to deal will these types of issues . 

2 - Product Feedback - Apple and make it known to Apple regarding this ongoing issue 

Two good questions that no one here can answer since we're all users.