Hey there smched,
We'd like to help get your iPhone to see your Mac for use with AirDrop, so let's start with making sure the steps in this link are being taken: How to use AirDrop on your iPhone or iPad If those are the steps you're taking already, we'd like to rule out some other possible causes:
- As you have a compatible model, the latest version is iOS 16.1.1 on your iPhone. You can verify this within Settings > General > About. In case you needed it, this link shows how to first back up, then Update your iPhone or iPad.
- If you have a compatible Mac, the latest version is macOS Ventura 13.0.1. You can verify this by clicking on the Apple logo at the top left corner of the screen, then on ‘About This Mac’. In case you needed it, this link shows how to first back up, then Update macOS on Mac.
- If you already have those versions installed, has a restart been tried of both devices? Check out Restart your iPhone and the section 'Restart' here: Log out, sleep, wake, restart, or shut down your Mac
If the same issue remains, the next step would be to let Apple Support know what's been tried as they'll be in the best position to assist further: Get Support
Cheers!