Homekit Invitation/Connectivity issues

So running into an odd problem. When i setup "my home" and all of it's devices everything works great, i can access my devices both remotely and locally. (i have 2 Apple TV 4k's hardwire networked in my home.)

As soon as I invite my wife to join my home, I start to have issues. When she hits accept, it never adds her and it just shows the spinning wheel with a contact sensitive button "view" which doesn't do anything. Simultaneously, it screws up "my home" settings and I am unable to add any accessories etc... I am only able to add another home, unless i restart.

This also makes it so i can no longer view or access my devices remotely, only when connected to my WiFi network.

The thing that is odd which i believe to be the issue, is that my invitation to my wife says, "would you like to accept an invitation fro XXXX@icloud.com, which is not my appleid or icloud login information for my home. My Homekit devices along with every other apple product are all logged under my appleid which again, is not an xxxx@icloud.com login.

thoughts?