AirPods Pro 2 case randomly beeps

For some context, I used to be a heavy Apple user -- iPhone, iPad Pro, MacBook Pro, accessories, etc. -- but switched to Surface devices and then to Android as I don't like latest versions of macOS and iOS. (And, it's nice to have my computer and my drawing tablet in one, rather than being expected to carry a $3500 MacBook Pro, as well as a $1000 iPad Pro, complete with the $250 "please don't bend in half" keyboard case, all adding weight to my 32 pound tech backpack. But, I digress.)

I had been using AirPods Pro and they still worked perfectly with these other devices, so I figured I'd upgrade to the Pro 2s this Black Friday. Two years has reduced the battery life of my OG Pros, and I figured getting some better ANC and the volume gestures would be nice.

However, I quickly noticed that the charging case randomly beeps a lot. Sometimes not at all in a day, sometimes once a day, but sometimes 2-4 times a day. It's really annoying, because it's totally random, it's disruptive, and it's defiant in that I can't get it to stop beeping by pressing the button on the back or taking the AirPods out of the case and putting them back. It just does what it wants and I, the guy who paid $200, am at its mercy. (It would have been even more if not for the sale.)

I'm pretty sure it's got to do with the stalking prevention thing. I've had the notice come up on a few friends' devices while I was hanging out with them, which is harmless enough. They just asked if it was me and I said it was. But, I think that message exposes a button on the other device to make mine beep. I'm pretty sure that's what's causing the beeping.

I think part of it also has to do with the fact that I don't have an iPhone for the AirPods to phone home to. As I mentioned, I switched to Windows and Android a bit over a year ago. I've heard it speculated that part of the Find My algorithm looks to see if the AirPods have been separated from the "parent" devices. Of course, I don't have another Apple product to vouch for me. The only one that might qualify is an iPad Pro I barely use and don't carry with me -- it's a Surface owner thing.

So, it would seem that while Apple's created this massive infrastructure to prevent the odd creep from following people, they seem to have overlooked the fact that:

A. I might not have $5000 worth of Apple devices on me at all times, and

B. I live in an apartment, with other people. Like, a lot of other people. People who, unlike me, have iPhones complete with "Make That Guy's Stuff Beep" buttons.

So, I'm wondering if there's a way to make this beeping stop. After paying hundreds of dollars, I'm a little unimpressed that the device I paid for not only assumes I'm a stalker for arguably flimsy reasons, but then decides it's okay to randomly harass me over it. Trust me, I didn't buy the most expensive earbuds I could find to glue to someone's bumper like I'm out of some James Bond movie.

I noticed during my semi-annual use of my iPad, for the purposes of setting up the new AirPods, that they have a switch to opt out of the Find My network in some capacity. If I do opt out of Find My and reduce it to the "last used location only," will it stop bugging people about my AirPods existing in the same world as them, and in turn stop letting them beep me?

Honestly, if not, I could just as soon go back to my Pro 1s which are physically incapable of assuming I'm a stalker (and beeping). Or, venture off into the land of non-Apple earbuds. It would be a shame since AirPods are legitimately great earbuds, but Apple's generally been on the downhill with their products (in my own opinion of course). It would just be matter of course if I had to find a non-Apple replacement for these down the road, just like everything else of theirs that used to work perfectly.

I appreciate everyone who makes it through my entire life-story of a post, and look forward to whatever insight you have to offer in making my earbuds stop thinking I'm a criminal (literally 1984).