How do I show the Apple TV remote on my iPad?

Have an Apple TV box. I do not have the remote. You would think that my iPad can provide a remote….I added it in the control center settings. The Apple TV box does not show up on the iPad’s Bluetooth list. After restarting the Apple TV box, my iPad asked me if I would like to automatically set up Apple TV, I said yes, put in my password, then nothing happens. When opening the Apple TV app, I find no connect to TV, no connect to Apple TV box, no connection settings at all. The ipad settings for Apple TV don’t give me anything substantial and absolutely no direction to figure out how to simply open the Apple TV remote, which you would think be a part of the Apple TV app, and if not, it’s own app. It’s not in the App Store, I just need to get the Apple TV remote to appear for use on my iPad. This is getting ridiculous. Not impressed with this functionality or should I say non-functionality? Sometimes, when you try to make software too assistive and automated, you end up, making it exactly the opposite. But again, pretty sure the whole problem would be solved if I could just get the Apple TV remote, that I guess is embedded in the iPad software somewhere, to just simply appear on the screen and operate