Hello Jitterbits,
Thank you for reaching out in Apple Support Communities. There's no setting available for pausing music or videos with a set of AirPods. You can pause the audio by pressing the force sensor on the stem of the AirPod and to resume playback you can press it again. That information is outlined here: Pause, skip, and adjust volume with your AirPods and AirPods Pro - Apple Support
Since you're unable to pause the audio, we suggest to reset your AirPods. This is a step that can help resolve your issue. Once the reset has been performed you can re-pair the AirPods to your iPhone. Here's how:
1. Put your AirPods in their charging case, and close the lid.
2. Wait 30 seconds.
3. Open the lid of your charging case, and put your AirPods in your ears.
4. Go to Settings > Bluetooth. Or go to Settings > [your AirPods].
∙If your AirPods appear there as connected, tap the More Info button next to your AirPods, tap
Forget This Device, then tap again to confirm.
∙If your AirPods don't appear there, continue to the next step.
5. Put your AirPods in their charging case, and keep the lid open.
6. Press and hold the setup button on the back of the case for about 15 seconds, until the status light on the front of the case flashes amber, then white.*
7. Reconnect your AirPods: With your AirPods in their charging case and the lid open, place your AirPods close to your iPhone or iPad. Follow the steps on your device's screen.
AirPods can be associated with one Apple ID. If you want to use AirPods (3rd generation) or AirPods Pro (1st or 2nd generation) that someone else has used, they first need to remove the AirPods from their Apple ID.
Following these steps can help and is outlined in this article for you to reference: How to reset your AirPods and AirPods Pro - Apple Support
Kind regards.