Apple ID problem
I am unable to change my apple ID. No alternative ID is accepted. My wife has a new phone and we want to differentiate our IDs. I'm using an iPhone 11 running iOS 16.3
iPhone 11
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You seem to be trying to do two very different things here.
Here's how you change the email address you use for your Apple ID:
1. Go to https://appleid.apple.com and sign in.
2. In the Sign-In and Security section, choose Apple ID.
3. Enter the email address that you want to use as your Apple ID.
4. Choose Change Apple ID.
5. If you changed your Apple ID to a third-party email address, check your email for a verification code, then enter the code. Learn what to do if you didn't get the email. --> If you didn't receive your verification or reset email - Apple Support
6. If you use services like iCloud or Messages to share with friends and colleagues, sign in to those services with your updated Apple ID. --> What to do after you change your Apple ID or password - Apple Support
For more details, read the document: "Change your Apple ID" --> Change your Apple ID - Apple Support
You also say you want to "differentiate" your IDs which to me suggests you want a separate account for her. This document will explain how to create a new Apple ID (create an Apple Account) --> How to create a new Apple ID - Apple Support
If she starts using a different Apple ID you may be interested in using Family Sharing. To learn how to set up Family Sharing, read this support article --> Set up Family Sharing - Apple Support