How do I connect my Apple Remote to my tv? It is only connected through my phone and I want to use the remote instead

What is your model remote? Identify your Apple TV remote - Apple Support

What is your model Apple TV hardware? Identify your Apple TV model - Apple Support

The physical Apple Remote connects (pairs) to the Apple TV box. Not to a TV, not other devices. However, the Siri Remote can be used for volume control on the TV or audio system directly, and the Siri Remote (2nd or 3rd generation) can send an on|off (wake|standby) signal to a compatible TV set.

Additionally, through HDMI-CEC, the Apple TV box (4th generation or later) can send select automated commands to other compatible HDMI devices, including follow wake|sleep, focus to new input. This requires the CEC function to be activated on all HDMI devices in the setup. CEC support may not be the same for all TVs.

For Apple TV (3rd generation) [A1427 or A1469], you would need the Apple Remote (aluminum) A1294.

For Apple TV 4K (3rd generation) [A2737 or A2843], you would want the Siri Remote.

The Siri Remote is not compatible with Apple TV (3rd generation or earlier).

The software remote on iPhone is always available (unless you remove the Control Center widget), but you can choose to not ever use that. It is independent of the physical remote; you can use them interchangeably. ‘Disconnecting’ the software remote is not required, nor beneficial.

• The Apple Remote (aluminum) needs linking to the Apple TV (3rd generation or earlier).
• The Siri Remote needs pairing to the Apple TV (4th generation or later).