There is a lot to unpack in your question. However, before I try, I will ask the question of what are you trying to accomplish? Why are you trying to install server? What server(s) are you trying to host?
Ok, here are some of the basics to understand:
• The Late 2012 Mac mini originally shipped with 10.8.1. This means you cannot install 10.6.3. on the hardware and thus cannot use Mac OS X Server on that hardware.
• Mac OS Server and Server.app are two different animals. Mac OS Server was delivered through 10.6 and includes tools like Server Admin and Workgroup Manager. With the release of 10.7, Mac OS Server morphed into Server.app. Server.app began the process of removing features. See here for the decline of services: About macOS Server 5.7.1 and later - Apple Support
• You cannot "upgrade" from Mac OS Server to Server.app. This is a replacement, not an upgrade path.
• Server.app is no longer available for new purchase. Unless you already own Server.app, you will not be able to install it.
• You can install 10.6 on the 2009 MacBook and get Mac OS X Server. But, since Server.app is no longer available, you will not be able to get Server.app after upgrading to 10.7 or higher unless you previously purchased it.
• Server.app for Lion and Server.app are two different product. For example, in my App Store I see:
Here is Server.app for 10.8 and above (proper version will deliver based on active OS)

Here is Server.app for Lion.

I will challenge you to find another solution for your needs. If you deploy these older versions you will be deploying services with known and exploitable vulnerabilities. As started, you must ask yourself what are you trying to solve and is Apple's server solutions the right answer to your question.
Hope this is helpful.
Reid