Hey there Pippa-1,
If the pairing proximity card didn't appear as expected when first setting up your AirPods, then it sounds like there may have been an unexpected behavior being experienced with the firmware of the AirPods.
To help troubleshoot unexpected behavior, ensure the firmware for the AirPods are updated. They will update automatically as long as your iPad or iPhone has the latest version of iOS or iPadOS. Check out those details here:
About firmware updates for AirPods - Apple Support
Firmware updates are delivered periodically while your AirPods are charging and in Bluetooth range of your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.
Because firmware updates are delivered automatically, you don't need to update your AirPods.
To use your iPhone or iPad to check that your AirPods are up to date, make sure that you have the latest version of iOS or iPadOS. Go to Settings > Bluetooth, then tap the Info button next to the name of your AirPods. Scroll down to the About section to find the firmware version.
Kind regards.