macbook pro can't connect to apple wallet after restart

I have a 2017 macbook pro running Ventura 13.2.1. When I upgraded to this os, I did not set up 2 factor authentication because I mislay my phone all the time & need to use icloud to find it-- it's useless if I can't log in without my phone. Since then I get the icloud password loop problem, and after the last restart it lost my desktop files and my apple wallet info, so I can't use apple pay. The info is on icloud, but is not syncing to this laptop. When I try "add new card" in system preferences/apple wallet, it hangs & has to be force quit. Very frustrated here, as I use this all the time. Ran etrecheck & it tells me there are over 2000 files in icloud waiting to sync. Can't seem to fix the problem-- help?