Hi CyberGrunt,
Thanks for contacting Apple Support Communities!
We understand that you need some help to update the firmware for your AirPods Pro 2nd generation.
You can use either your MacBook Pro or iPhone 13 Pro Max running the most recent macOS or iOS to update your AirPods firmware. You can learn more about the firmware updates for your AirPods here: About firmware updates for AirPods - Apple Support
"Latest firmware versions
- AirPods Pro (2nd generation): 5B58
- AirPods Pro (1st generation): 5B59
- AirPods (2nd and 3rd generation): 5B59
- AirPods Max: 5B59
- AirPods (1st generation): 6.8.8"
If you need help to update your macOS, this resource will guide you: Update macOS on Mac - Apple Support
If you need to update your iPhone, you can do so wirelessly or while your iPhone is connected to your Mac: Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support
We hope this helps you.
Cheers!