Air drop stopped working after 16.4.1 update

Hey there gwendt01,

We'd like to help by learning more about what's happening, along with ruling out some possible causes:

1. You mentioned there's an issue with using AirDrop on your devices, along with your wife's devices, but what exactly is happening when you try using it the same way you've been before you installed iOS/iPadOS 16.4.1? The more details you provide, the better we'll understand the issue occurring.
2. While we can only guess as to the steps you tried already, if you haven't tried one yet, sometimes unexpected behavior can be resolved with a restart: Restart your iPhone
3. Is this happening no matter what contact you choose to use with AirDrop on your devices?

While we await the answers to those questions, we have an article that covers some requirements that must be met to use AirDrop:

"Before you begin

• Make sure the person you're sending to is nearby and within Bluetooth and Wi-Fi range.
• Check that you and the person you're sending to have Wi-Fi and Bluetooth turned on. If either of you have Personal Hotspot on, turn it off.
• Check if the person you're sending to has their AirDrop set to receive from Contacts Only. If they do, and you're in their Contacts, they'll need to have your Apple ID's email address or mobile number in your contact card for AirDrop to work.
• If you're not in their Contacts, ask them to set their AirDrop receiving setting to Everyone in order to receive the file.

You can change your AirDrop receiving setting to Contacts Only or Receiving Off at any time to control who can see your device and send you content through AirDrop."

How to use AirDrop on your iPhone or iPad – Apple Support (UK)

Cheers!