how to stop apple music from automatically playing on apple CarPlay?

I keep music files locally on the iphone (non streaming). My work around for CarPlay and media is to use a different music app. I installed the VLC app, copied music files to it from my pc, then deleted all media files from Apple Music app (I didn't see a way to move the files, so had to remove and recopy). The 3rd party music app works just fine with CarPlay and behaves itself.

There was no other solution I could find that worked. After the music started automatically very loud when my elderly Mom got in the car with me and startled her, I had no other options. (vehicle is a 2017 model).