This is what I did to Fix my disconnect problem. Has worked for a few days no issues.
It will cost about $60-80usd. Returnable through amazon.
Buy a bluetooth wireless CarPlay transmitter.
I know it sounds stupid to think it will work, because the transmitter still plugs into the USBa on the console. But it worked for my wired CarPlay on my 2022 Toyota Rav4, transmitted to my iPhone 12 running 16.6.
Now I have wireless Apple CarPlay, which works with my bluetooth and connects when I start the car.
Anyone who has read the entire thread knows that I tried everything including an entire system restore on the phone.
I spent a day on the phone with Toyota resetting the multi media.
I had about 3 calls on the phone with apple sending them logs and system failure records etc.
my phone works in other cars, and other phones work in my car. this was the only way to get my phone to work in my car.
They said they know about the problem, and there's nothing they can do until new software hopefully addresses it.
That's it for me. If it eventually fails I'll post back, otherwise, this is how I fixed my CarPlay issues.