Airpod Pro (Gen 2) - Can only use microphone for calls

I have been absolutely mucked around for days with this. I just purchased Beats fit pros. Got them home and one of the main things i use the earbuds for is hands free seding voice messages etc on my iphone. I leave my phone on the bed and walk around sending out voice memmos via messenger. It doesn't even prioritise the airpod mic when taking videos with their own camera app. I spent an entire day trying to research and trouble shoot and switch a setting. spoke with 3 seperate apple support techs and they told me to return the beats fit pros. I went into JB Hi-Fi where I got them from and explained to the tech expert there that my old gen 2 airpods used to do this fine with all different iphones that I have done. She convinced me to switch to the Airpod Pro 2nd Gen's and paid an extra $100aud for. I was happy because I did love the BFP it was just that lacking of feature and they told me it was something they should do and that the device was faulty.

Sooo now. I am at home with my new airpod pros gen 2. I love them also. I still cannot get it to use the mic for anything other than phone calls. I have tried finding articles about this or anything at all. But it seems like apple is trying to keep the fact that it lacks this feature hidden. For $400aud.. really apple... These should do my laundry for me. I have done every single kind of trouble shooting imaginable. All I can put it down to as they focused soo much on the phone call quality microphone and the ANC tech they didn't add in the part where you can use it with any other apps. including their own camera. I found a few similar posts in the discussions on this community and the apple tech support person sent a link for something completely irrelevant to the question. Someone complaining about this with their iphone.. and they sent them instructions for how to fix the issue with a macbook. If one more tech person asks me if I have "switched on my permissions for the app".. I will absolutely lose it. I have reset everything. I have fully charged. I have even reset my **** iphone 14 plus. I have backed up. I have updated. I have reset reset reset everything. I have contacted messenger and they said this wasn't their issue. Snapchat also. Yet every tech support person I speak too tells me it should do this and to send it in for repairs... So if that is true. That means with the beats fit pros and now my airpod pro 2nd gens.. both of them are faulty??? what are the chances of that... doubt. So please... please.. tech support person potentially replying to this. Tell me for real. Do they actually have this feature. What am I missing? because I have done everything except for sending them into apple for repairs and being without them for weeks when I just got them brand new.