how do I remove a pending purchase

Pending purchases indicate a purchase that was unable to be charged successfully to your valid payment method on file or Apple Account balance, as such you are responsible for that purchase, and must allow it to successfully complete before anything else can be done.

If you can't make purchases or update apps, including free apps, you may need to have a valid payment method on file, even if the app you want to download is free.

See -> Add a payment method to your Apple ID

Add a payment method to your Apple ID – Apple Support (UK)

• If you want to change your card, add first the new card, then remove the old one.
• or if you use your Apple ID balance, set your Apple ID balance as your default payment.

See also ⤵️

Payment methods you can use with your Apple ID

Payment methods you can use with your Apple ID – Apple Support (UK)

FYI: Not all credit & debit cards seem to work with App Store / iTunes Store, try a different one, or preferably a credit card. If your card is not accepted as a paymenf method, you need to contact your bank.

Add money to your Apple Account balance -> Add money to your Apple Account balance - Apple Support

If you have set your Apple Account balance as your default payment method, your default payment method will be used first by Apple when you need to make a payment.

Some purchases might require you to have a credit card on file, even if you use your Apple Account balance to make the purchase.

If you update your payment method or add funds to your Apple Account balance, It would take about 1 to 3 business days in order to process.

If you're still unable to update your payment method, Contact Apple Support.

If you still need help, get support from Apple directly -> Get Support or call Apple in your region see -> Contact Apple for support and service or check -> here for more support and assistance.

I have the same problem with my wife’s account which on family sharing using my virtual credit card with strict limit. The purchase was accidental and can’t go through due to card limit and I have no intention to raise t the limit and allow the purchase because it’s a in game purchase and they can’t/won’t take it back once they give it therefore I don’t want to take it at the first place. (It’s $60 worth) Will this order stay there indefinitely as pending or cancel after some grace period?