Hello claris49,
We have a great support article that might help with this. Please take a look at it here: Use the Driving Focus on your iPhone to concentrate on the road - Apple Support. This section discusses the auto-reply feature:
"Turn on Auto-Reply
With Auto-Reply, favorites and those you allow notifications from will get an auto reply when you have the Driving Focus on. They can choose to notify you anyway by sending "urgent" as an additional message.
- Go to Settings > Focus, then tap Driving.
- Tap Auto-Reply.
- Select an option, like No One, Recents, Favorites, or All Contacts.
From here, you can customize the auto-reply message that people get when they message you while a Driving Focus is on."
This indicates it would occur when a message comes in, so the sender may be notified each time they send a message. We hope this helps. Let us know if we can assist with anything else at all. Take care.