Another follow up. After upgrading iOS to 17.5.1 (from 17.4.1), it *sometimes* works. If you open 'AirDrop' on your Mac, you should see your phone on a screen that looks like a radar. What I've noticed is that when it works, another copy of my phone appears, downloads my files, and disappears. No matter what though, it does take a long time (30-60 seconds) of getting a flashing 'Waiting...' symbol before anything happens. Through testing, what I've been able to determine is that Apple appears to be figuring out if you have WiFi *and* bluetooth access to your computer using some contact information. They seem to want to prefer using WiFi for the actual transfer, but will resort to Bluetooth if they have to and there is a lot of back-and-forth trying to figure out if you are on the WiFi. I've also had it lock up once starting to send something and right clicking on my phone avatar/symbol in the Macs AirDrop screen showed it was trying to calculate number of files and size, so that negotiation might be hanging it up as well.
So, you could just turn off your WiFi and use Bluetooth exclusively, that was *more* reliable, but not bullet proof and took a long time in the 'Waiting...' state before it decided to finally DO something. This definitely is much worse than it was before I upgraded Sonoma.
Just tested it by turning off Bluetooth and using WIfi -- Took 35 seconds to finally decided to transfer, then it was done in less than a second. This option is not always available -- Apple ALSO seems to cache a list of favorite sharing... methods such as specific Messages contact and your Mac if you Airdrop to it. So, if you turn off Bluetooth, this cached destination may disappear, based on the testing I've done.