I don't have any focus on and people are telling me that I'm silencing notifications still. Any ideas?
Notifications silenced continues when not in any focus.
Question marked as
Do you have any other devices that use the same Apple ID? If so I would suggest verifying the Focus on those and signing out of iCloud, then sign back in. I had an old iPad that I rarely used that was using the same Apple ID and once I signed out of iCloud on that device the silent notifications went away.
On your device I would suggest a Force Restart. The button combinations may take a couple of attempts to get correct and the last step of holding the side button until the Apple Logo comes up could take up to 30 seconds.