Switched phones three times in 5 days (iphone 13 pro to iphone 15 pro 128 gb to iphone 15 pro 256 gb) due to crash/reboot/freeze issues, but new phone is still freezing/rebooting

On Thanksgiving AM, I updated my iphone 13 pro to ios 17. Immediately after the update, my iphone started to crash and reboot at random times. I went to the apple store and they diagnosed the 13 pro with a logic board failure. Instead of going with the $447 repair, I opted to upgrade my iphone to the 15 pro 128 gb. The apple store set it up and I restored my icloud backup, but the same crash/reboot/freeze cycle started happening again within 1-2 hours of me getting the new phone. The apple store ended up replacing my 15 pro with a 15 pro 256 gb (they didn't have the one I initially purchased in stock). I restored the iphone completely and set it up like a new phone (did not transfer any data over). It worked for about 45 min-1 hour before it started crashing/rebooting/freezing again. This seems to happen every time I would 1) try to lock the iphone or 2) try to open any app beyond the main page (i.e. opening settings and screen would freeze / not respond to scrolling, opening messages and not being able to create a new message because the screen would freeze, etc.)

So far, I've been back to the genius bar 5 times (going for a 6th time today because apparently my BRAND NEW iphone failed all diagnostic tests per my most recent apple support call), switched phones 3 different times, spoken to support over the phone, restored my iphone to factory settings and set it up as a new phone over 5 times, tried updating via my macbook, etc.

Between the 13 pro, 15 pro 128 gb, and 15 pro 256 gb, my phone has generated probably 30+ panic full reports.

At first, every panic report had the following:

"panicString" : "panic(cpu 0 caller 0xfffffff06f1eef44): \"AppleMCA2PMGRDevice::RegisterRunning::setRegistersPowerState_block_invoke:\" \"[mca3] Failed to change PS to 1 : I\/O timeout(0xe00002d6)\" @AppleMCA2PMGRDevice.cpp:1411\nDebugger message: panic

Now, I am getting this panic string:

"panicString" : "panic(cpu 0 caller 0xfffffff0521637a4): userspace watchdog timeout: no successful checkins from SpringBoard (2 induced crashes) in 180 seconds\nservice: backboardd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 23, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: SpringBoard (2 induced crashes), total successful checkins in 270 seconds: 9, last successful checkin: 180 seconds ago\nservice: mediaserverd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 28, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: audiomxd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 29, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: logd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 29, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: thermalmonitord, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 28, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: runningboardd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 29, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: wifid, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 29, last successful checkin: 0 seconds ago\nservice: configd, total successful checkins in 291 seconds: 29, last successful c\nDebugger message: panic\

The people at Apple have all been very nice and helpful, but I'm at my wit's end here. I'm being told so many different things: it isn't ios 17.1.1 (but my problem started after updating from ios 16 -> 17), it is a corrupt backup (but the phone still crashes/reloads despite not restoring any backups), hardware / logic board failure (on THREE phones??), barometer/accelerator failure (again, on a brand new iphone??)

Does anyone have ANY tips at all? I've been an iphone user for over a decade, but these last 5 days of problems make me seriously consider switching to an android phone.