For what it's worth, I've updated to Sonoma 14.2 on iMac and iOS 17.2 on my iPhone and am having the same problem you've all discussed. A sync hangs in Step 3 of 5 (Preparing to Sync). Following your suggestions, I ran a backup and sync with "Show this iPhone when on Wi-Fi" set to On, "Automatically sync this iPhone when connected" set to Off, and used a cable to connect my iPhone to my iMac.
Once the sync hung up in Step 3, I opened the Activity Monitor and located the MDCrashReportTool process. I first tried to stop it by highlighting the process, clicking the Stop menu icon, and selecting "Quit" from the pop-up menu, but it did not stop. So, I selected the "Force Quit" option in the Stop pop-up menu. The MDCT terminated and my sync immediately finished Steps 4 and 5. My newly updated playlists were synced as I hoped when I checked them after.
Clearly, this is not ideal to do every time we want to sync, but it did work tonight. Perhaps this will help someone.