How to share a calendar but avoid duplicate events when invited to the same event.

My wife & I share calendars on iCloud. If there is an event that we are both going to, I might add it to my personal calendar and then invite her so she has it on her personal calendar too.

The problem is, this then shows me the same event twice: once on my personal calendar, and second through her shared calendar.

Is there a way for apple to recognise that these are in fact, the exact same event entry and therefore ignore one? Friends have told me google cal does this so am surprised iCal doesn't...

I know a work around is for me to not invite her and just use that single, shared entry - but unless we put a much longer, obvious title (which I don't want to) then we may not realise that it's an event we are both involved in.

We had previously used a 'family' shared calendar but it was just one more calendar in the list...perhaps we just need to go back to using this for shared events?

Any advice welcome!