My wife shares her calendar with me. I do not have the power to edit her calendar. On occasion, the event she entered duplicates the same event that I have on my calendar. To clear up duplicative clutter, I delete her calendar's event on MY calendar alone.
When I do so, it deletes the same even on HER calendar.
How to avoid this happening?
Windows
I discovered the impediment: she has what was (once) my phone. It showed, in Settings (Apple ID, etc.), scrolled way down, her phone AND my new phone. I had a word with the carrier online, and they separated the phone identities while keeping both on account. Now I can 'see' her calendar entries, can delete duplicates (where she's got the same event as I do) without affecting her calendar at all.
Now, it updates slowly when synching. My phone 'claims' it cannot now get access to iCloud on the internet, though it has free access via wifi AND cellular. I gather this is not a new problem.
Although you are sharing a calendar, as the creator of the calendar your wife has set you with permission to view only. The other option is to view and edit. She can change this setting in the calendar you share in her Calendar application in iOS or on a Mac. I don't know if this can be done in iCloud for Windows if she has that on a PC (and you indicate that you have a Windows computer yourself).
Duplicated entries is not a problem that can solved by a software tweak. If you get a duplicated entry you have the option of deleting the event in your own calendar. As you found, if you delete an event in a shared calendar it will also delete on every other device which shares that calendar.
One other option for avoiding duplicated events is if your wife sends you an invitation to join an event - this will need to be done in a different calendar and one you do not share. When you accept the invitation it will be added to your calendar. If you have the event already you can decline the invitation and it won't be added to your calendar.
Or it might be easier if you just share ALL your calendars. This works for some households and not for others. This is the way I have set it up for my family and there is no chance of any duplication.
Doesn't answer the question nor address the problem. When I delete HER event when it appears on MY calendar (and I do NOT have rights to edit her shared calendar), then it deletes HER calendar entry as well the duplicate entry on my calendar.
If I do not have the right to edit her calendar, then my deletion of a shared event on my calendar alone, then her own calendar should remain unchanged. It does not.
Invitations are not involved. She does not want to see my calendar (she finds it too cluttered).
Sharing calendar entries
