iPhone Data Recovery Help

Hi, this might be a long post so bear with me. I changed my passcode in my sleep and forgot it when I woke up. I tried to connect it to my laptop but it told me I had to unlock my phone to use the accessory so I couldn’t. I read that the new update allows you to unlock your phone with your old passcode for 72h, problem is my phone wasn’t up to date so I updated it and everything went downhill. I managed to remember the password after the update but whenever I used it my phone was put in recovery mode and when that was done it just froze and repeated the same process I tried repeating multiple times but there was an error I had no choice but to restore my phone, when I did, I couldn’t find my iPhone back up (I store it on my iPhone and mac, not cloud) I saw a back up from July thinking it was this phone I was dumb enough to not look at the phone (it was my old one) so basically it backed up to my old phone that has basically nothing. When I tried to restore the backup from my laptop it said “This iPhone has never been backed up) which drove me insane. I have all my things on my phone and I’m not talking photos and shir, no important data. I transfer almost everything to a hard disk every two months or so the last transfer was in October but it didn’t include notes (which has the most important stuff ever) please is there any way to get my data back? I’ve been losing it! my whole life is on there and I have hope that I might get it back. Please if you know how to get my data back, I’d appreciate it. Thank you.