charging port not working - very hard to get it to have contact with lightning cord

This is the third iPhone I have had in recent years that has eventually had the same problem. It is like the charging physical socket is wearing out mechanically and starts to have a lot of physical tolerance in how a standard lightning cord seats in it, to the point it is difficult to make an ohmic connection and actually have the phone charge or connect to the lighting cord for data and charging. I finally upgraded my previous phones (iPhone 7 Plus, iPhone 5) as it go so bad it was extremely difficult to keep it charged. Now my iPhone 12 Max is having the same issue and it is very difficult to have a reliable connection or charge---it is like the socket physically wears out to the point a lightning cord won't seat or connect consistently at all.