Not sure what you mean by "filtered through MY email". If you are getting explicit emails, then it just means that some third party has your email address. Spammers buy email addresses in bulk and are easily obtained from sites where you have entered your email address. That does not mean your phone is hacked. It is no different then someone getting your phone number and calling you to try and sell you something. As for opting out, you can go to your email providers website and create a new email address. Apple also provides the Hide My Email feature with their iCloud+ service. This lets you use a random email address when signing up for sites like Facebook or Google, so if they are sold, you can shut them off and create a new one easily.
If these spam emails are coming to your iCloud email account, then Apple provides a support article to report and reduce the spam.
Report and reduce spam in iCloud Mail - Apple Support
For your iCloud profile that you cannot click on, go to Settings >Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Account Changes, and change it to allow. If you do not want any restrictions, go to Settings > Screen Time, and scroll to the bottom to "Turn Off Screen Time".
A hack on FB would be a problem with your FB account and not with your phone. You will need to contact FB for a resolution with that as we or Apple do not have access to your FB account in order to help you. As a sidetone, FB is free for you to use, but they make billions off of your personal information that they collect from you.