Screen time notifications issues

It’s been quite a while and couple more ios iterations and they did not change the screen time notifications back. I get that there is an executve “genius” at hq who thinks that clogging a thread message (btw, it’s even harder to delete these messages) is the way to go, but I have some issues even with this method: randomly I can no longer reply within the popup imessage, I have to open the app and there can reply to accept more time. A restart of the phone solves this.

Then, last week the kid got a new phone and immediately I saw that requests started to be delivered the old way - both to me and wife’s phone.

This morning out of the blue we’re back to imessages…

can somebody explain these hiccups?