ChoboC,
I have been going through the exact situation now for 2 years.
I began this as a basic to below-average computer user. I still lack knowledge, but I do have grit.
I also have ironclad proof of my devices being managed and monitored by a 3rd party that I did not authorize.
The access to my networks is hauntingly multi-channel. . . through my typical smart home networked environment, my 3rd party devices' drivers and management apps are corrupted and used onramps to all of my electronic activity linked to my Apple ID (Mac, iPhone, and iPad).
Once in the Apple environment, accessibility features are combined to execute commands (via keyboard shortcuts. recording and training of my voice, and having Siri read content on screen) that change settings, install further monitoring/managing capabilities, and then Accessibility features are also leveraged for the output of analysis regarding my activity and sent to my "stalker" using "Guest" temporary communications methods that erase the data sent upon closing the session (just like when you log in as a guest in any environment).
Devices that have been leveraged in accessing/listening/watching/tracking me in ways I did not authorize:
HP printer (HP's Smart software way too smart), Samsung TVs, Audi Q4's MMI, Samsung Family Hub fridge, Apple Tiles, Beats headphones, Apple EarPods, multiple manufacturers' Bluetooth mice, keyboards, and monitors . . ..
Documenting the full scope of the communication methods used, information gathered, online routes traced, analysis performed, apps impersonated or corrupted, add-ins, plug-ins, extensions ran in the background, and data lost by them or by my freakout reaction when I see it happening again is a herculean effort that requires forensic consulting. Particularly since the methods and models continue to improve and receive updates just like any other app or OS.
Very expensive. So, if like me, you can't afford it, what do you do? I can only scratch the surface of any answer for you.
I have limped along fighting this for 2 years - using ScreenTime to limit access and what programs run.
I wiped all my devices clean, changed all my passwords, and installed new apps - even bought a new Mac and new networking equipment - but I kept the same Apple ID and accessed the same data. "They" were back within 24 hours and back up to full capability in a couple days.
I am starting to go to my online and Smart device providers to update my Privacy Rights settings and request that they send me all information related to how I have accessed their site - what devices, what IP addresses, what content, etc to try to get proof of WHO is doing it. The fact that they are doing it is now easy to prove. But until I/we can go after the bad actor that is coordinating all of the data flow, it will continue.
I've come to a point: I either accept being constantly monitored (And yes, I am paranoid, but only because I've now proven that I deserve to be) or I go after the bad actor. Anything in between is fighting well-programmed apps and machine learning models and you will just exhaust yourself trying, limit your ability to function like a normal person, and have only minor, temporary victories and privacy.
Take Mr. Hoffman's advice - he's one of the most knowledgeable contributors I've found in these forums.
Get help from the authorities, a lawyer, and a forensic tech, if you can.
Do not let the standard tech support folks that do not understand how much AI changed this game berate you or get you down. They don't yet know what they don't know. The lack of respect and empathy I have experienced from the tech support community I've paid subscriptions to (Netgear, Bitdefender, Avast, Apple, Best Buy, Norton - a joke btw) and even consultants I hired for $1500 to setup my home network, is an outrage.
If you're lucky enough to find a diamond in the rough in this community, hold on to them and cherish them. They can save your sanity.
Learn about the platforms that can manage you and the Gen AI and open architecture tools used in them. Embrace them. They can help you fight back (I am just beginning to understand this - - so I don't pretend to know how to do this - just that I know I/we need to learn).
Google Cloud Platform (formerly Workspace)
AWS Management via Cloud Computing
Microsoft Azure
Apple's School Manager and Business Manager
Good luck.
[Edited by Moderator]