How do I disable sound effects on iphone?

I would like to achieve the following:

• my google calendar app can send notifications that make a sound
• if someone rings me twice in five minutes or so my phone makes a sound
• videos and Spotify make a sound when playing
• notifications are displayed visually as usual
• my iPhone never makes any noise at all otherwise

the silent button does this, except that I can’t make it ring if someone rings me more than once or for calendar events.

and focus mode purports to do this, but some apps still make obnoxious sound effects, e.g signal when sending a message.

what is the right combination of settings?