questions about being hacked by significant other

"questions about being hacked by significant other: [...]How do I fix this or how would I find out how he’s doing it? He is very good at hacking and I have never been interested in doing stuff like that."

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Securing your Accounts:

When it comes to Accounts, you should modify the credentials every-so-often, for security purposes.

A. Verify Your Devices:

Verify that your the devices logged in to your account or officially yours, by using this link: Check your Apple ID Device List to See where you're Signed in - Apple Support

B. Consider Modifying your Credentials:

Having been shared, this person may have your credentials. So, by all means, consider modifying them, starting with a new password.

• Modify: your login credentials (Using Both a New eMail and a New Password for each and all sites)
• Associate: a different method of payment to your account
• Enable: Two-Factor Authentication for Apple ID and for all other accounts that have such an applicable option

If ownership of the MacBook and the iPad was never transferred, and given the devices are both less than fully functional, I’m not sure why that this even a discussion? If the person with the Apple Account holding Activation Lock is unwilling or unable to relinquish ownership, recycle them, and move on.

(If the failed equipment is not associated with your Apple Account, then remote wipe is not an option. The failed Mac can probably be wiped from another Mac using Target Disk Mode. The iPad will be tougher to wipe, given the failed display and given no ownership. Apple offers free recycling.)

Now more generally, given you report your security had been compromised and that for some years, what indications of security issues or compromise have you had?

What steps have you already taken to secure or re-secure your environment, as well?

Have you mace previous postings on this topic, or had discussions with Apple Support, for instance?

Have you already.reviewed the following document, and run Safety Check with your Apple Account?

Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support

I agree with other postings, but I’d like to add something. Did you have your own user ID prior to this occurrence? If so, he very likely knows your ID and password. I have hidden apps and key loggers on mine. If you get a new device and use the same credentials, he will have access to the new one as well, including knowledge of new password.Does he have physical access as well? Hopefully not. That opens the door to many more issues.