iPhone 14 Pro Max is not allowing a soft or hard reset

This means you are likely just holding the side power button.

To do a soft reset as you say, you press the volume up button and side power buttons at the SAME time until you see the power icon and the slide to power off will appear.

To hard reset:

• Press and quickly release the volume up button
• Then immediately press and release the volume down button
• Then immediately press and KEEP HOLDING the side power button and KEEP HOLDING it past the swipe to power off and KEEP HOLDING it until the screen goes dark and KeeP HOLDING it until you see the Apple Logo, then let go

The "Up, Down, Side” Force Restart instructions require some precision:

• Press and quickly release VOLUME UP

     then

• Press and quickly release VOLUME DOWN

     then

• Hold the SIDE button until an Apple logo appears (15-30 seconds), ignoring "slide to power off" if it appears

The operative word here is QUICKLY; and try it a couple of times, the timing is a little tricky. If done correctly this will always work unless the phone has a hardware problem. 

You probably need to restore the phone. You can use either a Mac or Windows PC, or, if you don’t have either find a friend who does or go to an Apple store and use one of theirs.

There’s a slight chance you can do it without a computer→If you forgot your iPhone passcode - Apple Support

Let me suggest a genius bar appointment→Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple