can i but a phone in US to be picked up in Manila by a family member

Wire them funds. That’s the safest and easiest way to accomplish your end goals.

Gift cards are restricted to country of purchase. Apple doesn’t ship outside the country or region. International transactions with unknown merchants isn’t risk free.

Wire the family member the funds.

Apple does not have their own physical stores in the Philippines. If you order from the online Apple Store, they will only ship; there is no pickup option. You would have to find an authorized Apple reseller in Manila and ask them what their payment and pickup terms would be.

Find Locations - Apple (PH)

Regards.

You can see if the Manila Apple website will let you place the order and designate someone else as the pickup person. Or you can call the store directly to verify if that is possible