Ok just spent half a day looking into this further.
I was able to resolve by searching for sharing and Manage Sharing and Access on iDevice.
From there I was able to view and reset 'connected devices' and reset my connection. Turns out my sync started back in November (over 1 month) so seemed to be stuck! This is odd as I have synced more recently.
Once I reset, iDevice showed up in Music and Photos
There is another setting I believe to allow iDevice to show notifications which may also need to be enabled somewhere.
Hopefully this helps someone else as I spent much longer trying to resolve this than I would have liked.