Adult in family is being forced to ask permission before making purchases

We thought it’d be good to have our accounts able to access each other (and share apps) so my wife and I set up Apple Family. First, it cleared my wife’s saved payment method and replaced it with mine. Fine. I don’t mind that. But she didn’t notice that had happened until I mentioned seeing the purchases.

Now, it won’t let her purchase anything without getting approval from me.

She is an adult. This is humiliatingly annoying.

I’ve gone in to see if I had accidentally clicked “ask to buy” but that’s not even an option. (Because, she is an adult!) There doesn’t seem to be anyway to turn this off, and we’re ready to just turn off Apple Family entirely.

please tell me there’s some way to fix this

(all our devices are fully up-dated)