FindMy notification invitation stuck in pending when set to frequency every time.

Now I just tried to recreate your situation. I sent the same request to my wife, that I should be notified in FindMy every time she arrived at our home. Before I send this request, I get this message:

"Repeating location notifications requires permission from the recipient. That request will be sent to "*my wife" the next time "*my wife" arrives at Home"

So it seems that my (and your) wife will only get a notification the next time she is out and about, and then comes back home. So that she does not get a notification right away makes sense. Conversely, if I only choose to request to be notified of arrival once, my wife will get a notification right away.

Does that make sense?

This is just a suggestion. I have personally experienced that invitations to FindMy may not arrive if I choose to send the invitation to the recipient's phone number, but if I send it to their registered Apple Account email, it will arrive. If you have sent the invitation to your wife's phone number, try sending it to her Apple Account email, or vice versa.

Arhh, I see. Just looked at that feature on my phone, and the notification is of course created with a person who is already added in FindMy. You can try removing your wife from FindMy, and inviting her again, and then try adding her via her Apple Account email, if it is not already the one she is added with, then try the phone number.

I know it sounds crazy, but often it is these little "ninja tricks" that help, I have tried it a few times, also with invitations to share Home for example.

But try. I will test the feature with my wife's iPhone later today, then I can get back to you.